A poem in working:

Poetic Frustration

Bedroom is dark, no chalk to write.
Oh well, let numbness fall over tired skin.
Happiness left in the garbage last night.
Has it been emptied yet? Will I find it again?
Toss and turn, this journey to sleep suspended in jello
This day once crowned has lost its splendor
Why do they always mold like bathroom tile grout?
Divulge to me the secret of the concrete heart
Galvanized iron to cage in my cloud.
Will it also quiet the candle made of
soap that hides in the well within?
Let it! Cliffs are needed to surround things fragile.
Put away the jackhammers, and break the mirrors.
I am a featherless peacock my voice is a lyre not tuned.
Not hopeless but surely without any hope.
Silence lulls me to sleep.


(I pormise there will be a poem with an optomistic heart soon, this one just fit in better) with my journal

More contemplating the meaning of the universe but mostly about love.

Well shit. Don’t I just feel like a worthless piss ant today. I do. I feel so terrible probably because I feel I did not study enough for my history test. Who cares I did ok. And also because I have not done enough work to prepare my self for this work I have due next week, but once again I don’t care. I care about the depression in me it creates. I would normally say that Love is the answer for everything. But where is it? In me where is the love besides for Brooke? I want to be about things that life the most enjoyable for me and Brooke does that. What about those who do not? What about those who are a pain and those who piss you off and those who make life less romantic and those you have to work to love and those who hurt you and those who are not beautiful and those you can’t stand. What about me, am I a pain? Does this question ever need to be asked by me or is it my conceit that does it? Is it my desire for love from people and subsequent change of personality to be easier to love. Those who get in the way of love make it harder to do so. However they should not be outside its fold. Never should I dismiss someone out my love cuz they are hard to love. What is my basis for my cynicism? I have no right to judge anyone and when I do, how shallow it is. The couple standing next to me just disgusted me by their PDA, and still are, they have love for one another. Love that no doubt feels some of the same things that me and Brooke do. And an even more important point they know of what love can be and the joy that they can have in love, and they have a song inside singing of how much they want and need that love and how much on the other hand they want to give it. Ah, I have so much to learn.

Let the love I give never be given halfheartedly but only with full disregard for the “important things.” Let the loved be the “important things”