Been a while, huh

Today was good, I realized I suck as a writter, as a friend and as a human being.
To those of you who know me, this is not going to be a negative bash on myself (that I'm all too prone to do). Rather I just realized today how little I've got things figured out.

Last night going through stacks if other's poems, I thought mine stacked up pretty good in comparison. I walked into the class excited to hear others' praise. My poem was clever, funny, and had a great idea driving it... Its funny how you look at your own work in a very idealistic way. I left my classroom that day, my open wounds pouring onto my shirt and down my arms to the class' responses in my left hand. In other words, they didn't think so highly of the poem. But their comments will help. I'm just starting out I really only know how to write a few types of poems and I like doing it, so I will continue. (plus I feel so cool writting poetry, I do have the glasses for it, all I need now is the little weird hat.)
....
Last night I hung out with J and Joel, two guys I really respect, and they remind me always of how puny me and my thought process is. First of all jason is always stretching my mind into new ways of thinking that really piss me off sometimes. I don't know what to do with what he says to me. I take it look at its strangeness and am at a loss for words so I put it into my pocket and say thanks. As soon as I get in the car though, I look at it from all possible angles. Still stumped I put it back into my pocket until I can translate it into simpler terms. Sometimes I wish I had some Earth-shattering things to commment about those types of ideas, because they are not completely new. Traces of these thoughts have been in my mind since eighth grade. Trying to find the balance between punk rock dreams of anarchy and the love of God. So, basically his Idea of Jesus as the theocratic ruler like God was to the Isrealites of Moses' time is cool (cool is a good word to use whenever you don't have something meaningful to say) J and Joel both have a passion to bring their faith to new levels. Most of the time my ideas of faith and how God will act in my life is simply Love God and he will set everything else along the right path, which is good. However I never push myself to see anything new, I rely on God to do all the work in a lazy way.
God continue to reveal to us all your mysterious plan.

For those who are struggling relationally I pray.
For those who are in pain I pray.
For those who are in need I pray.
Let you be enough.