We are generation between constantly up and coming, but never arrived. We have been raised instilled with anticipation for the future but never the now. “I can’t wait for vacation, for a break, for the party tomorrow night, for [insert your desired gratification here]. We have learned how to look at the future like movie previews and advertisements: all the build up but none of the follow through. What happens once the movie is seen, once the party is over, once the goal is attained? Are we looking forward to the right things?

“The man who does not permit his spirit to be beaten down and upset by dryness and helplessness, but who lets God lead him peacefully through the wilderness, and desires not other support or guidance than that of faith and trust in god alone, will be brought to the Promised Land.” --Thomas Merton

We should know well enough that no one here can offer wisdom or understanding better than God. So Lord, help us place our faith in you and lead us by your mysterious power into an understanding of the future that is whole and a present that is filled with the peace of knowing you.

Not sure what to get for the person who has everything. Give a goat! Heifer.org makes it possible to give (or share the gift of) goats, llamas, water buffalos, pigs, sheep, ducks, and more on the behalf of a loved one to families who really need them. Here's a novelty gift that really serves a purpose. A very creative way to remind friends and family about the Christmas spirit.

Yeah its over but the concept applies even more as Christmas approaches. We don't need the stuff we get, and they don't need the stuff we give. SO how can wemake our gifts mean something? Thanks Katie for the image.

Kingdom Reconstruction

Kingdom De Reconstruction
For too long my outwardly expressed ideals have been defined as a series of nots. I am not a member of the religious right. I am not giving my money to a church that turns around and spends it on its members. I am not supporting an economy that ignores the poor. Yes, these nots are important in venting my frustration and identifying with others who are also dissatisfied with similar things (not the best matter on which to base a friendship), however, they are not getting anything done. I've spent my life in the negative for way too long waiting for others to show me how to positively live out the alternatives to things I am opposed. Without actively engaging in a positive construction of an alternative I am only complaining and I am probably making things worse.
Don’t get me wrong I have been a part of some very positive things at with Jason and Brooke’s church, and also at the Sharp’s House but for the most part in these groups I feel I have left the constructing to others. When left on my own, I am all talk. Why is that?
So, in order to keep this blog from becoming another not (what I am not doing well) I want to brainstorm ways to translate these negatives into positive ways to live out the kingdom that I have seen or thought of. So here goes:

• Buy nothing day = make something day  


• Not buying from sweat shops = buying from co-op, sweat-free clothing companies,  union made clothing


• Hating corporate America = becoming a teacher and educating kids about it


• Frustration about the wealth gap:


• Locally =  volunteering at Bread of Life (they need volunteers for the winter (760) 722 0800


• Nationwide = donate to poor college students


• Abroad =  contribute to third world, or find out about people trying to change the system that perpetuates the gap


• Hating yourself = sit in the company of those who don’t (friends, parents, Him)

It’s a short list but it is a step towards making a positive contribution to the kingdom feel free to comment with additions or call and we’ll talk.

For those of us who must buy dresss clothes here is a list of union made clothing brands who pay workers fair(er) wages:

Brooks Brothers, Hickey Freeman, Hart Shaffner Marx, Ted Baker, Kenneth
Cole, Tommy Hilfiger, Austin Reed, Evan Picone, Pierre Cardin, Coppley,
Burberry, Gieves and Hawkes, Jack Nicholas, J. Press, Matteo Maas, Givenchy,
Talbia Uomo, Alexander Julian, Hilton-Oak if made in the U.S.

Faith, works, and Politics
Joel and I have been conversing about the church, politics, and Jesus - and how much they should intermingle. I personally tend to think of Jesus as more of a table tossing kind of guy when it comes to right wing politics in the church. But recently Joel has presented some ideas that made me think that He would probably deliver the political table turning in equal doses to right and left, but for different reasons.

Our call as Christians is to be servants of God first. We are to be set apart (In the world and not of it), but we are called to be agents of change. As a Christian and a leftie I have no problems feeling that I am serving God and that I am being an agent of change but the in the world and not of it part is frequently left out. I am quick to get in there and look for injustice and error in the opinions and logic of the moral majority (both of which abound), but in doing so I am just following the pattern of the world. I am simply spawning more argument and which is just about as effective as salvation via apologetics.

“For our struggle is not against the flesh and blood [everyone Christian or not], but against the rulers, against authorities, against the powers of this dark world and the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Ephesians 6:12

As much as I’d like to think that Dubya fits into the later categories he is flesh and blood as well. It does no good for us to heave our snarling complaints at him. “¹⁷Don't hit back; discover beauty in everyone. ¹⁸If you've got it in you, get along with everybody. ¹⁹Don't insist on getting even; that's not for you to do. ‘I'll do the judging,’ says God. ‘I'll take care of it.’” (Romans 12: 17-19 The Message)

I’m not abdicating a Britney Spears style patriotism nor am I saying we shouldn’t be extremely critical, but in a way that is constructive. To truly improve the situation we need to transform our angst into action and results. “Don't let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good.” (Romans 12:21 The Message) So how?

But what would this approach look like? Please, all four of you who read this blog respond and tell me. How do we begin to ­DO?

<sup>Romans 13 (The 'Message)

"2</sup>For instance, a person who has been around for a while might well be convinced that he can eat anything on the table, while another, with a different background, might assume all Christians should be vegetarians and eat accordingly. ³But since both are guests at Christ's table, wouldn't it be terribly rude if they fell to criticizing what the other ate or didn't eat? God, after all, invited them both to the table. ⁴Do you have any business crossing people off the guest list or interfering with God's welcome? If there are corrections to be made or manners to be learned, God can handle that without your help...

13Forget about deciding what's right for each other. Here's what you need to be concerned about: that you don't get in the way of someone else, making life more difficult than it already is. ¹⁴I'm convinced--Jesus convinced me!-that everything as it is in itself is holy. We, of course, by the way we treat it or talk about it, can contaminate it...

¹⁸Your task is to single-mindedly serve Christ. Do that and you'll kill two birds with one stone: pleasing the God above you and proving your worth to the people around you."

read it all

Sometimes I see the future and
it doesn’t look like what you’d think
There are no light sabers or flying cars.
It is not a post-nuclear wasteland or utopia,
and we have not ventured any further
into the outer reaches of anything.

Instead, the future is sitting right in front of me
At the grocery store sorting through coupons.
And it’s why I’m going to be late for work.
When I see the future I smile sympathetically
But am afraid to look it in the eyes.

- We all want to do something extraordinary and all those dreams seem just on the horizon in high school but somewhere after that they fade and the reality of our ordinariness sets in. Regardless of my feelings I hope that I will simply be in the path of God.

air and light and time and space

"–you know, I've either had a family, a job,
something has always been in the
way
but now
I've sold my house, I've found this
place, a large studio, you should see the space and
the light.
for the first time in my life I'm going to have
a place and the time to
create."

no baby, if you're going to create
you're going to create whether you work
16 hours a day in a coal mine
or
you're going to create in a small room with 3 children
while you're on
welfare,
you're going to create with part of your mind and your body blown
away,
you're going to create blind
crippled
demented,
you're going to create with a cat crawling up your
back while
the whole city trembles in earthquake, bombardment,
flood and fire.

baby, air and light and time and space
have nothing to do with it
and don't create anything
except maybe a longer life to find.
-Charles Bukowski

--- (Thanks for sharing this Chels.) How simple it is to get into a routine. Two months go by without writing, or volunteering, or even quitly listening. And perhaps what is most disturbing is how dead i am before I notice the quiet inside.

Rest of the trip pictures up on the site. check them out

We went to europe see the pictures here

In 1984 George Orwell predicted a world where people were heavily regulated and kept from doing anything out of norm. The world has very much become that which Orwell predicted but in a completely different manner. Instead of watching 24/7 for abnormalities Big Brother just keeps us distracted. He dances and sings, he invented the commercial break to keep us distracted from the truth.

Today I watched a movie where Peter Jennings describes the media's role in Hitler's rise to power. In every step of the way the media was there to support and never questioned him. And I was thinking hmm isn't this a little ironic? Lets consider what happened in Rwanda, western countries had the power to step in but the did not. So thats not quite the same it was already happening and we could have stopped it but it was really far away and all. So what about here at home what has the US directly participated in. Well a few I can think of are: the gross underpayment and unfair labor practices of sweatshop workers worldwide, the unequal trade rate given to third world countries for their goods (in the name of American agriculture and industry), the overthrow of numerous uncooperative leaders: Arbenz- Guatemala, Allende- Chile, overthrow of the Sandanistas in Nicaragua, organization of contras in Nicaragua, coup establishment of Montt in Guatemala-- and that’s just a portion of Latin America.) Sure he can talk about Hitler now, everyone can talk about Hitler but what about what’s going on today.

The only critique of these practices has come from outside the mainstream media. The major media in our country is centered around money. SO the major media outlets are not going to include too much that doesn’t interest readers for fear of losing readership (people = $). And the fact is, the suffering of far away people doesn’t matter to the majority of public as long as it is out of sight (a local example is San Diego’s recent laws passed to keep homeless people out of the nice downtown area- out of sigh out of mind). This, however is a catch 22. How can it ever matter if it is never seen, never talked about?

I suppose the point of this rant is Peter Jennings doesn’t even realize that his own ABC would have been there to back up Hitler in the 1940's, but its not just him. The role of the media and intellectuals should be to uncover injustices and share their concern about them to help us all tune out Big Brother and refocus on the overall situation of the world not just our economically successful bubble. The role of the public then should be to take interest and take action. And I hope that will be more of a reality in the future.

My love v. Christs’

"I wonder at myself. The more I love humanity in general, the less I love man in particular. In my dreams,' he said, 'I have often come to making enthusiastic schemes for the service of humanity, and perhaps I might actually have faced crucifixion if it had been suddenly necessary; and yet I am incapable of living in the same room with anyone for two days together, as I know by experience. As soon as anyone is near me, his personality disturbs my self-complacency and restricts my freedom...

... By the experience of active love. Strive to love your neighbour actively and indefatigably. In as far as you advance in love you will grow surer of the reality of God and of the immortality of your soul. If you attain to perfect self-forgetfulness in the love of your neighbour, then you will believe without doubt, and no doubt can possibly enter your soul. This has been tried. This is certain."
- Dostoyevsky Brothers Karamazov.

loving in the present
It is strange how there are times in life that you forget how much you have. The future always seems more appealing. Whether it’s the vacation next month or the end of the shift in 15 minutes, it’s almost always better than the here and now. Today was one of those fortunate moments when I realized the beauty of the present. On the way home from her parents house Brooke looked over at me and smiled; she said “I love you Matt sometimes I forget, and I take your presence in my life for granted. So I just wanted you to know I appreciate all the little things you do for me.” In that instant nothing else mattered. It was almost as if God was speaking through Brooke reminding me what a fortunate life I have. (I sometimes feel like some tragic thing will happen in the next moment to take it all away, like the car we’re driving in will crash and like some movie version of Job I’ll be left with nothing. It never happens, perhaps it’s my over-saturation with Hollywood drama.) I suppose the best part about those moments besides the extreme contentment is the way they ground you in the present. Dreams and vision are necessary but it seems like I always live there outside of action. God speaks in the present, he may speak about the past or the future but he always does so in the now. So I guess my point is, if those moments of grounding are so infrequent how often am I planning my own future instead of listening for Gods voice?