Summary of my week

All in all it has been a good week. Me and Brooke have had alot of good time hanging out. Lots of good conversations about our church, friends and the future of our relationship (mostly dreaming of marriage). We went on a double date Friday night with my roomate Rick and a friend from home Erica. They had a great time and it looks like ther might be a couple more dates in the future (so bug rick about that if you see him.) Me and brooke had alot of fun on our date making funny faces at each other and playing around alot. the date was a blast. The next day Brooke, Rick, Rhi, and I went to Disneyland for free and had a blast there as well. Other than that it has been work and relaxation that I have been up to. Wednesday night (tommorow night) I am going to meet with my parents and have the conversation about school which leads me to my next section of this entry.

Thoughts and Concerns

I really don't know what is going to happen with my parents. I am still not so stoked on the idea of going to Cal State San Marcos, a major in psych is not the most exciting thing in the world. My parents are going to want to hear that God has specifically called me to go there and then they are going to want proff of the actual conversation notarized and signed by both me and God. Ok, slight exageration but you get the idea. I am just in a place right now where i feel kind of in the middle. Both me and Brooke were talking about this tonight (by the way Brooke is leaving for Spain soon and I am already starting to miss her) and we feel that this place, north county and mattew's house, is kind a mid point between two points in our life. I have not recieved word from God calling us elsewhere, so I think we are in some kind of a rut. It is hard being in a place where you don't know many people. Where you are far from your family, and your whole basis for social life (church) is completely different. Last nigh I was thinking and asking God "why am I here? What have you done through me so far?" I feel like I have not been used by Go all that much down here. Both me and Brooke were bumming about the very same thing yesterday. (I'm so glad we have each other). But God is faithful and today he showed me that he is still very much at work in my life.
A coworker of mine, Phil who I have talked to only a few times before and only about random things (this is the same guy who's car transmission fell out 2 weeks ago), began to talk about life and believe it or not God. As we got to talking as the day went by, he told me how he became a christian ( a cool story to be sure) a couple of months ago and how he is looking for a church that is pretty much what Matthew's House is. How Freaking rad is God. we have alot more talking to do but I am stoked. I pretty much feel that altough things in Mattews House are not exploding with growth God is still so at work within it. Also I know for a fact that he is growing me more and more each day, and he is teaching me things too. God has shwn himself to be faithful again and my doubting once again seems trivial. Perhaps this migh just be a growing learning time for all of us. Whatever it is God knows and I will be there for what ever he has planned next.
more to come on this soon...

today I had the chance to see friends from home. About all the people I miss from my old church were there (except one very important one). It was a little odd, but still very cool.I also found out that during this last week my Dad found out about the school thing (my mom finally told him). I am looking forward to discussing it with them. Today was all in all an odd day, not much happened until the graduation where I saw my friends. I did get really bored and down on myself probably the moral for todays adventure is that I am too damn selfish. (todays blog is more for my sorting of thoughts more than anything else). I hope that tommorow does not suffer the same fate. that's it.

truly the wisom of God is what I seek. His power has no comparison. often I rely on my own version of wisdom. and it is always weak compared to what God reveals to me.My goal it to seek out those small pearls of wisdom teaching and leadings that he slips into my daily life. Whenever he prompts me, I want to follow, then and there not weighing the pros and cons not trapped in ( as joel said) "paralysis by analysis," from over thinking my leaps of faith. How much do I trust God if I never act on the small little things he places in my lap. Is not my faith dead without works? Yet I still sit. How long will this go on for? Lord let me step forward and do what it is you have called me to. talking about it can only yake me so far I need to live it. talk is cheap. Thatis all for now just some desires deep within my heart that needed to be said. more to come in a much more coherent version tommorow.

ever have that strong feeling kind of like butterflies but inyour heart when you think about church. when your desire to do god's will is so overwheming that you just have to do something? today i wrote.

Last night Brooke and I started going over this notebook that I have to say I was quite skeptical of at first. But It led us to some very good discussion. For hours we talked about church history and how the church ever ended up in the place it is today. She wanted me to post some of the thoughts we had so that she could "live vicariously through my blog." (forgive me brooke I have added to them a little) The following is my meager attempt to discuss some pretty large topics that Brooke and I disussed last night. If they make sense to you it's a miracle.
It seems like church has been off-track for the last 1700 years. We have forgotten the simple commands of Jesus for so long. All along God has been directing us in our induvidual lives showing us what it is to love and give as he has, but herd us all together and we are pretty dang stupid. Christians as a group forget the almightiness of God and rely simply on our logic. We try so hard to figure out what church is supposed to be like and how we are suppossed to live we miss out on God revealing his way to us. If we rely too much on our logic we lose God completely and we no longer have a church led by listening to the almighty God of the universe. Instead we have a group of people who are nice and very moral led by guys with God degrees (I'm going to school and I know there ain't nothing special about a degree). On the same hand God gave us brains and desires for us to seek out his will with our logic. But never can we forget about him. He will reveal to us how he wants his church to be. In the end he will be the one who has written the best book on ministry strategy. This is a quote from Tom and Felicity Dale from the notebook, "God is progressively revealing (bringing new light from the timeless scriptures) truth so that He will have His way in His church, and on that day His bride will be without spot or blemish." God is in control, and the best thing for me to do is to make sure I am connected with him and acting upon and putting my all into his revelations to me. That is how I can best be the church for now.


-sidenotes: ironic that the US is ahead in everything except in our relationships with God. It seem that our stuff has taken the place of God. Do countries that face more hardships have more faith in God? And did the hardships Christians faced in the first hundred years make them stronger ? Did the widespread acceptance and regulation kill god's work? How can we make sure not to get in the way of God when he acts?

Sunday, three days ago, I had an awesome opportunity to meet with some people that I really love and that have had a real stretching effect on my view of God and church. We had a long discussion about what it is to do church again. We discussed problems that have arisen in house churches and also went over again (a hopefully never ending process) what a healthy community of believers looks like. I am more stoked about what God is doing in my life everytime we meet, and I know that God has spoken to me in a couple specific instances to live out what I have learned (that unfortunately is a new concept for me). At work and in life's rountine I am starting to hear God's call again. Woo hoo! It's been too damn long! Welcome back God!

In a couple hours I'm going whitewater rafting with a roommate of mine and some friends from the church, a much needed break from work. Things are still weird with my parents. I can't keep my mouth shut much longer. They just had their 25th anniversary. Congrats! Me and my lady Brooke are also doing excellent. More of that in the next post.

Where to begin?
Lord thank you for guiding me in life up to this point I can see your faithful hand through every point of the journey so far. You have put wonderful people in my life that encourage and spur me on. thank you for Matthew's House and the ever expanding and ever changing definition of church that you are revealing to me. I am faithful that you will keep revealing things and that on this journey with you I will have never arrived. Thank you for the process.
amen.