I have a Rockstar friend

Tim you are so freakin brutal!


Thanks for the fun at the show.
By the way, the kid Tim reaches down to high five is Brad Sonnenburg my housemate. Brad subsequently almost smashes his face on the concrete and gets roughed up by security guards, definietly the highlight of the show.

I've been passionate about teaching lately because I've found a way to revitalize less exciting parts of the English class. With help of several other English teachers I've worked to create a them based course of study including modern films and news stories. The goal of the whole thing was to engage students so that they care and put more effort into their work. Success has been mixed. Sure I gripe a lot, (there have been times I've wanted to drop kick kids in my classes over the goal posts of our CIF winning football team's stadium), but I have had some breakthroughs where students were able to learn a new things about themselves or their world. But the question remains: is this what I really want to spend my time on? I pour 10- 15 hours a week into crafting awesome lessons and pouring over students papers, and usually spend another 30-35 hours discovering the futility of that work as my lesson plans fall apart, and students toss corrected work straight into the trash.

So before I slit my wrists, or elicit a lot of sympathy comments from those few who read this blog, I do have a positive, albeit profoundly obvious reflection that I've gained from this failed teaching effort: I should do something else.

I've always had a predisposition towards the aiding the neglected, but I wasn't sure if it was just a romantic notion of doing the happy- helppy thing, or if it was a true "calling." However, as I sit reflecting over the day, the week, the year, I realize that I'm always drawn to the neglected. The most fulfilling and challenging part of teaching is working with lower level learners, or helping first time high school grads find their way into the right college. Giving a leg up to the kids who the rest of society has put down is incredibly fulfilling, when it happens. That said, it is such a small part of my teaching, why not move on and find somewhere (if only just for a short time) that I can make a difference. Why not live abroad? Why not study the failures of the education system in the poor parts of Mexico or South America and help kids learn before they even get here? Why not investigate the sources of the problems causing such apathy in students, and attempt to reverse them? At the very least I'll appreciate teaching more, or, hopefully, I'll find something I love even more.

So then, it remains a question of when, where, and how to get started. Something I plan on focusing on this year, wish me luck!!

Congo - Seeking $ and Power Through Exploitation and Intimidation (Part 1)

Another African country is in the news!!!

WTF?

Can't they get their sh*t together over there. Those Africans are always killing each other, how do these crazy people gain power?

Oh yeah, I forgot that we (rich Europeans and Americans) are the reason that Africa is so F***ed up. Case and point, the current continually disintegrating situation in the Democratic Republic of Congo. a country whose problems began with one such crazy leader, the greedy and ambitious King Leopold II of Belgium. Leopold Exploited the DRC's resources for his own gain. In order to ensure total access to the resources he severely mistreated the Congolese, forcing people to work in the rubber plantations and mutilating them when they would not do so. An estimated 10 million people died during the reign of Leopold II. With his example, and the most desired cache of natural resources in Africa to fight over, how can we be surprised that today the area is in tumult?

Today's resource of choice however is no longer rubber, we've discovered more practical and cost efficient ways of producing our car tires. Instead the focus has been on the minerals. The coveted minerals of the day are gold, copper, cobalt, uranium, zinc, and tin; many metals that make our daily lives possible (like this mac I'm typing on right now). And because of the draw of these minerals and unrelated problems in other areas of Africa it seems that several psychotic militiamen have descended on the Congo. Enslaving a new crop of natives to harvest minerals, and displacing millions who live near future mines, leaving them without food and water, or a way of making any money to survive. Some of these refugees have been able receive help from NGOs but many have simply been cut off by the constantly moving warring armies and militias. From the constant fighting and forced removal and general abuse of the soldiers it is estimated that 5.8 million people have died. (more people in any armed conflict since WWII)

But perhaps the most gruesome tragedy is the method in which these militias (which includes just about all the fighting groups including the Congolese government) get villagers to do what they want them to, which I will address in my next post.

Prop 8 protests at Saddleback (on Colbert Report)

Voting for the "Other"- Embracing the 2nd Commandment at the Polls

In the past few weeks there have been a lot of angry statements flying around about the propositions on tomorrow's ballot. Many churches have also found their way into the argument (so much for separation of church and state). Without going onto all of the vitriol I just wanted to add one thing that I can't stop thinking about: This isn't what Jesus had in mind. Throughout the Bible we see Jesus standing up for those who are oppressed, on the margins of society, and he called us to do the same with our vote. Jesus made the choice to live and die for others he didn't know. We should at least consider them as we step into the polls tomorrow.

There are 2 major propositions on the ballot tomorrow that we need our particular attention.


Prop 8 - eliminates same sex marriage

Jesus lunched with lepers, partied with prostitutes, talked with tax collectors. He accepted them where they were and spoke with them about their lives. He never publicly chastised them or called them unclean, as many of his religious counterparts would have. If you remember the story of the people who were going to stone the adulterer he actually stopped a mob who was going to punish an obviously guilty woman. He knew that he was going to be an outcast soon and he did all he could to protect outcasts who he came in contact with.

It seems a lot of churches have stood up in favor this proposition (and against gay marriage), and I don't believe that was what Jesus intended. Jesus built relationships, he befriended people on the fringes. He did not stand up for abstract principles like "the sanctity of marriage," he stood up for those who no one else would. I can't see any group that is more looked down upon by the church, and our society, than homosexual men and women. So regardless of what your particular views are about same-sex marriage I encourage you to think whether or not a law is the best idea. Instead step out of your comfortable shoes, and view life from the perspective of another person.


Prop 4 - A child getting an abortion must notify parents 48 hours ahead of time

In a recent conversation with a friend she told me that she would be mortified if her daughter had an abortion without telling her, and upon thinking about any future Gonzales babies, I suppose I would feel the same. But I am not the only one who laws effect. I had the privilege to grow up in a loving household where pregnancy, though tough news, would have been handled with care and support by my parents. Many people don't have that luxury. Working at a high school campus I hear and read about an awful lot of kids who are not loved by their parents. If we are to truly love others we must try to understand those who are in the most difficult positions, and give voice to the voiceless.

"The poor and oppressed are sacramental," Tony Campolo began his speech to a crowd of eager students and educators clinking forks on plates in the University of San Diego's conference hall. He went on to explain, eliciting exclamations of "preach it!" and "Amen!" from the mild-mannered crowd, that being involved with the poor should be just as foundational to faith as the act of communion. To illustrate his point he related an experience a few years ago when he became involved mentoring and learning from the students who, with Shane Claiborne, began living in solidarity with the homeless who were in jeopardy of being evicted from a run down cathedral they had been living in (a story that can be found in Claiborne's book The Irresistible Revolution). As the college students lived and took part in communion with the poor, Campolo says, they were changed; they began to understand Christ’s vision of loving the poor. I would argue that this act of getting to know and serving with the poor was probably more of a communion with Jesus than the taking of a piece of bread or sip of grape juice ever could be.

This was not a new story, I had read it in The Irresistible Revolution and it had inspired me then. Today, however, it hit me in a new way. Intermingled in my brain with my recent re-reading of Mortensen's Three Cups of Tea, it formed some kind of healing paste to the rigidity of my thinking, much like Jesus’ healing mud and spit salve was to the blind man. Relationships are the key to really being able to bring about true social change. Relationships with local Pakistanis, for Mortensen in rural and very foreign Pakistan, were the key to rearranging the social structure of the small villages with small schools (they also helped keep the costs the costs down.) Close and honest relationships are also the same thing that makes Shane Claiborne’s simple way so effective and so inspirational. His group lives among the poor and serves them, not from a distance with all the answers to make their lives better, but from within, valuing their ideas and empowering them to begin change on their own.

I was taught in church year after year that it was about relationships, but despite that we continued to create programs to serve our needy students. In my high school everyone knows that relationships are the backbone to teaching, but walk into a classroom and you won’t see most teachers really relating to and conversing honestly with their students. (This year that has been my focus, with good and bad results, but that will be the subject of another post.)

So the question then, is what do we make of Campolo’s and Jesus’ charge to meet the poor and needy head on? His suggestions: First, live together to support one another. Check. And secondly, this one made me cringe a bit (I stick my head in the ground like an ostrich with the mention of anything confrontational), was to go out into the community and simply ask to talk with and “pray for a blessing on people.” Whether that is the solution or not, it had a rather pleasant ring to it. Meet people, and as they talk to you, consider their needs and wants and see what our community can find out about connecting them to groups or organizations that could help them (find jobs, get food stamp assistance, find a handyman, get homework help, learn sweet soccer skills). It does sound rather ideal and also uncomfortable, but it sure appealed to my naïve and idealist nature. Share with me your thoughts…

“A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual death.” - MLK Jr.

MLK speaks the truth, but the part I forget is that peace must begin at a personal level.

I hear messages like this and ones like Shane Claiborne in Irresistible Revolution and I am not sure what to do with them. I am so motivated by them, I’m like a speaking-in-tongues dancin’-in-the-aisles Jesus freak (at least on the inside). But the problem with that super excited mentality, even if it is shown on the outside, is that it benefits no one. I can highlight a book until it glows in the dark, but it does me, or more importantly it does no one else, any good. I suppose, God, that it is the same thing I’ve said a hundred times, that I want to make a difference but I AM not.

-Stop and meditate break –

As I’ve been writing I realized at least a couple ways – Dave and Shari’s lawn (which I realize now that I never mowed!!!), our neighbor Veronika, my AVID student’s financial needs, my EAP students cards of encouragement.

So my thoughts are now that I don’t know whether the problem is that I am thinking too large scale (about military programs and global poverty) or that I really have no idea how to live these things out. Unfortunately, because now I have just though of tangible things to do to make a difference and can’t feign confusion, because that only thing holding me back is my laziness (specifically in the form of watching Oscar nominated movies – which often movies like Blood Diamond, Babel, or Last King of Scotland make me motivated but rarely create action to live out loving others) I believe it is the former. So, God, in your infinite wisdom and love let me do things in my life that will make others’ lives better whether it is a simple day-to-day kind of love or life altering kind.

Thank you for today,
Help me to love today.

Can you have a quarter-of-a-century life crisis?

I am now twenty-five and I’d like to say that everything is just the same as last year, or that I really don’t feel older, but I do.

This has been a very different year for me compared to the past few. With the start of teaching in the classroom, the career that will take the majority of my time for the next thirty years or so, comes a calm tranquility. For the first time life is not in tumult. Jobs are not changing, I am not going to school anymore, no more random people in random places, my life has become routine. Overall I suppose the biggest changes that starting a career has brought is routine and cash, which are both good and bad.

Routine's nice because for the first time in about five years I can plan my life without having to wait to find out what a work or school schedule is going to be. I know what time I will wake up, what time I should go to bed (but still I don't), and how much time it takes me to do things everyday. I am also not spreading myself over several different things anymore. I can put most of my energy into my classroom and into my students, instead of heading in several different directions at once. All of this is nice of course but I can’t help but feeling a little too settled.

Brooke and I had talked a lot about our plans for the future during the first six weeks of teaching and we discovered that we didn’t really have the desire to travel, or make an international type of pilgrimage that we once did. We are making a difference here in the lives of kids so maybe that’s what life really has in store for us. Alone that is not a bad thing but couple that together with the teacher salaries (which though meager, are about 2.5 times bigger than our salaries last year) and let it sit for a few years you have all the makings of a middle class malaise.

I have already learned that I have a terrible predisposition towards hunting on the internet to find new toys to spend my hard earned teacher cash on. I have contemplated a new computer, a digital slr, a disc golf set (yes, I’m a nerd), a new speaker set, a car radio, and a vacuum cleaner. In fact, all of my time on the Internet recently has been focused on consumption, whether its been of goods, ideas, or pirated movies, it doesn’t matter. The fact is: I haven’t created a damned thing myself. And that’s what I worry about.
Will settling into a career make me lose my soul? Does the fact that the career is teaching make any difference? What happened to those dreams of traveling and changing the world I once had?

So, This is the summary of the past year of my life:
School, school, school, teach for free, and work.

During this time, especially the last couple months I've had some pretty cool breakthroughs in faith. I would like to say that these breakthroughs are the result of my vigilant pursuit of God, however the reality is quite different. The busyness of my life has kept me pretty well distracted from God over the last few months. But now, with hiring season approaching for the teaching profession, I've gotten pretty buddy-buddy with him. The mere possibility that I won't have a job next year is terrifying (so is the possibility of having one, though). I've done my best to portray a professional attitude to all prospective employers and that is exhausting to do on a constant basis, but its a little easier if God helps out. His help is precisely the reason I'm writing this blog.

About to embark on my first interview at Rancho Buena Vista High School, the school I did my student teaching at, I was more than terrified. I was freaking out. I had spent the night before pouring over possible interview questions and pillaging my closet for a decent outfit to wear. Feeling unsatisfied in both departments called friends and family asking for advice and prayers as I went into my interview, which at the time seemed like my only chance to get a job. "the only way you'll get in to a good school is by getting hired at the school you student taught at, but no pressure" I was told by one administrator. Yeah sure, no pressure, I'm perfectly calm now thanks.

So as I called around several people consoled me and offered their suggestions. About my lack of attire, my mom suggested I hit up the thrift store before the interview. I laughed. The thrift stores in Oceanside are just about as ghetto as they come I doubted I'd find something worth while there. But, my mom was right (God has a point with that 'honor thy father and mother ' stuff). In the hour that I squeezed in to look for suits I found one at the first store I went to. The only full suit they had. It was a sweet looking, grey pinstripe suit which, as later took it into the fitting room and discovered, was perfectly my size. It is near impossible to find suit to fit my lanky arms and small waist, but there it was almost shimmering in the fluorescent glow, perfectly pressed and smelling stale cardboard (like everything at a thrift sore does). This, however, is not the best part of the story. As I swaggered up to the register, with my new digs in hand, I handed it to the woman behind the counter and she said, "$12.89 is your total." That's right, less than thriteen dollars. I was stoked. Now God is on my side, for sure I'll get the job.

Later on that evening I walked out the interview panel supremely confident of my rocking interview skills, and God-ordained success. It wasn't a week later that I found out a colleague got the job instead. But I wasn't as upset as I thought I'd be. I had already moved on and applied at other districts. I knew that God, if he could provide me with a sweet grey pinstripe suit, he could take care of the bigger stuff as well. In fact my faith was even more increased in the failure of not getting a job. I was forced to again acknowledge that God has a design and that my goals and his are often not aligned. I spent several more days at the beach trying to discern his plan and what I should do next.

That's where I was until this last week when God worked his pinstripe magic again. Stay tuned for that update.

We are generation between constantly up and coming, but never arrived. We have been raised instilled with anticipation for the future but never the now. “I can’t wait for vacation, for a break, for the party tomorrow night, for [insert your desired gratification here]. We have learned how to look at the future like movie previews and advertisements: all the build up but none of the follow through. What happens once the movie is seen, once the party is over, once the goal is attained? Are we looking forward to the right things?

“The man who does not permit his spirit to be beaten down and upset by dryness and helplessness, but who lets God lead him peacefully through the wilderness, and desires not other support or guidance than that of faith and trust in god alone, will be brought to the Promised Land.” --Thomas Merton

We should know well enough that no one here can offer wisdom or understanding better than God. So Lord, help us place our faith in you and lead us by your mysterious power into an understanding of the future that is whole and a present that is filled with the peace of knowing you.

Not sure what to get for the person who has everything. Give a goat! Heifer.org makes it possible to give (or share the gift of) goats, llamas, water buffalos, pigs, sheep, ducks, and more on the behalf of a loved one to families who really need them. Here's a novelty gift that really serves a purpose. A very creative way to remind friends and family about the Christmas spirit.

Yeah its over but the concept applies even more as Christmas approaches. We don't need the stuff we get, and they don't need the stuff we give. SO how can wemake our gifts mean something? Thanks Katie for the image.

Kingdom Reconstruction

Kingdom De Reconstruction
For too long my outwardly expressed ideals have been defined as a series of nots. I am not a member of the religious right. I am not giving my money to a church that turns around and spends it on its members. I am not supporting an economy that ignores the poor. Yes, these nots are important in venting my frustration and identifying with others who are also dissatisfied with similar things (not the best matter on which to base a friendship), however, they are not getting anything done. I've spent my life in the negative for way too long waiting for others to show me how to positively live out the alternatives to things I am opposed. Without actively engaging in a positive construction of an alternative I am only complaining and I am probably making things worse.
Don’t get me wrong I have been a part of some very positive things at with Jason and Brooke’s church, and also at the Sharp’s House but for the most part in these groups I feel I have left the constructing to others. When left on my own, I am all talk. Why is that?
So, in order to keep this blog from becoming another not (what I am not doing well) I want to brainstorm ways to translate these negatives into positive ways to live out the kingdom that I have seen or thought of. So here goes:

• Buy nothing day = make something day  


• Not buying from sweat shops = buying from co-op, sweat-free clothing companies,  union made clothing


• Hating corporate America = becoming a teacher and educating kids about it


• Frustration about the wealth gap:


• Locally =  volunteering at Bread of Life (they need volunteers for the winter (760) 722 0800


• Nationwide = donate to poor college students


• Abroad =  contribute to third world, or find out about people trying to change the system that perpetuates the gap


• Hating yourself = sit in the company of those who don’t (friends, parents, Him)

It’s a short list but it is a step towards making a positive contribution to the kingdom feel free to comment with additions or call and we’ll talk.

For those of us who must buy dresss clothes here is a list of union made clothing brands who pay workers fair(er) wages:

Brooks Brothers, Hickey Freeman, Hart Shaffner Marx, Ted Baker, Kenneth
Cole, Tommy Hilfiger, Austin Reed, Evan Picone, Pierre Cardin, Coppley,
Burberry, Gieves and Hawkes, Jack Nicholas, J. Press, Matteo Maas, Givenchy,
Talbia Uomo, Alexander Julian, Hilton-Oak if made in the U.S.

Faith, works, and Politics
Joel and I have been conversing about the church, politics, and Jesus - and how much they should intermingle. I personally tend to think of Jesus as more of a table tossing kind of guy when it comes to right wing politics in the church. But recently Joel has presented some ideas that made me think that He would probably deliver the political table turning in equal doses to right and left, but for different reasons.

Our call as Christians is to be servants of God first. We are to be set apart (In the world and not of it), but we are called to be agents of change. As a Christian and a leftie I have no problems feeling that I am serving God and that I am being an agent of change but the in the world and not of it part is frequently left out. I am quick to get in there and look for injustice and error in the opinions and logic of the moral majority (both of which abound), but in doing so I am just following the pattern of the world. I am simply spawning more argument and which is just about as effective as salvation via apologetics.

“For our struggle is not against the flesh and blood [everyone Christian or not], but against the rulers, against authorities, against the powers of this dark world and the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Ephesians 6:12

As much as I’d like to think that Dubya fits into the later categories he is flesh and blood as well. It does no good for us to heave our snarling complaints at him. “¹⁷Don't hit back; discover beauty in everyone. ¹⁸If you've got it in you, get along with everybody. ¹⁹Don't insist on getting even; that's not for you to do. ‘I'll do the judging,’ says God. ‘I'll take care of it.’” (Romans 12: 17-19 The Message)

I’m not abdicating a Britney Spears style patriotism nor am I saying we shouldn’t be extremely critical, but in a way that is constructive. To truly improve the situation we need to transform our angst into action and results. “Don't let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good.” (Romans 12:21 The Message) So how?

But what would this approach look like? Please, all four of you who read this blog respond and tell me. How do we begin to ­DO?

<sup>Romans 13 (The 'Message)

"2</sup>For instance, a person who has been around for a while might well be convinced that he can eat anything on the table, while another, with a different background, might assume all Christians should be vegetarians and eat accordingly. ³But since both are guests at Christ's table, wouldn't it be terribly rude if they fell to criticizing what the other ate or didn't eat? God, after all, invited them both to the table. ⁴Do you have any business crossing people off the guest list or interfering with God's welcome? If there are corrections to be made or manners to be learned, God can handle that without your help...

13Forget about deciding what's right for each other. Here's what you need to be concerned about: that you don't get in the way of someone else, making life more difficult than it already is. ¹⁴I'm convinced--Jesus convinced me!-that everything as it is in itself is holy. We, of course, by the way we treat it or talk about it, can contaminate it...

¹⁸Your task is to single-mindedly serve Christ. Do that and you'll kill two birds with one stone: pleasing the God above you and proving your worth to the people around you."

read it all

Sometimes I see the future and
it doesn’t look like what you’d think
There are no light sabers or flying cars.
It is not a post-nuclear wasteland or utopia,
and we have not ventured any further
into the outer reaches of anything.

Instead, the future is sitting right in front of me
At the grocery store sorting through coupons.
And it’s why I’m going to be late for work.
When I see the future I smile sympathetically
But am afraid to look it in the eyes.

- We all want to do something extraordinary and all those dreams seem just on the horizon in high school but somewhere after that they fade and the reality of our ordinariness sets in. Regardless of my feelings I hope that I will simply be in the path of God.

air and light and time and space

"–you know, I've either had a family, a job,
something has always been in the
way
but now
I've sold my house, I've found this
place, a large studio, you should see the space and
the light.
for the first time in my life I'm going to have
a place and the time to
create."

no baby, if you're going to create
you're going to create whether you work
16 hours a day in a coal mine
or
you're going to create in a small room with 3 children
while you're on
welfare,
you're going to create with part of your mind and your body blown
away,
you're going to create blind
crippled
demented,
you're going to create with a cat crawling up your
back while
the whole city trembles in earthquake, bombardment,
flood and fire.

baby, air and light and time and space
have nothing to do with it
and don't create anything
except maybe a longer life to find.
-Charles Bukowski

--- (Thanks for sharing this Chels.) How simple it is to get into a routine. Two months go by without writing, or volunteering, or even quitly listening. And perhaps what is most disturbing is how dead i am before I notice the quiet inside.

Rest of the trip pictures up on the site. check them out

We went to europe see the pictures here